The Willingness Skill is learning to have the thoughts, feelings, and memories (TFM) we have. Trying to control or avoid unwanted TFM does not work in the long run. When we stop fighting with our TFM, we have more choices. If we no longer make our daily life be about what TFM we have, than what do we choose to make our lives be about? The next skill, Valued Living, is about doing what matters to us. We get to identify what's important to us and then take action to bring our values to life.